Anxiety.
We grow up thinking that we have to be the very best version of ourselves;
that we must strive to “have it all.” We feel the need to be successful and
goal-oriented. We must be healthy, the “looking good” kind of healthy.
Strong. Well-read and well-travelled. Talented. Good-spirited. Fun to be
around. Positive. An amazing person with an inspiring love story to tell.
Someone who is “realizing stuff1” and making dreams come true while
earning a six-figure salary.
What happens, then, when you are… none of those things?
Anxiety.
A lot of anxiety.
Not everyone is a prodigy or possesses an innate talent for something
extraordinary. Not everyone is the most beautiful person you’ve ever met.
What happens to those who can’t make every dream come true?
Some may repeat tired clichés like, “If you really want it, you can have it all,”
or “You can make it in time if you just focus.” Nowadays, we are surrounded
by these catchphrases and cheap self-help threads, repeated nonstop by
motivational speakers or “life coaches”, as that seems to be the more trendy
term right now. We hardly dare to feel like a failure when there are so many
tools supposedly helping us to “be best2”, as famously the First Lady of the
US named her anti-bullying initiative (not gonna get political here, take this
fact as you will; knowing the Trumps and how bullies work).
This entire culture of wellness and greatness can sometimes make us feel
guilty for our shortcomings. But feeling like a failure is normal. No one gets it
right all the time. Sometimes you do the very best you can, you truly try, but
the outcome doesn’t always depend on you.
We need to realize that it is okay not to be superhuman. It is okay to be
normal, and normal can be many things. It is okay to fail and feel bad until
you feel good again, allowing yourself to regroup and think of a new
strategy. The mentality that “second place it’s the first loser” needs to die. It
is impossible for everyone to win all the time, and no one should live a life of
frustration just because they aren’t the “best” version of themselves. You are
the only one who gets to decide what the best looks like and by then you
finally can be free to be yourself.
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